I wanted to share something that’s been transforming my life lately. I’ve been exploring Byron Katie’s self-inquiry method called “The Work,” and it’s been eye-opening when paired with truths I’ve found in scripture.
Katie suggests that when we believe we need others’ approval to be okay, we create our own suffering. This hit home for me. I realized how much energy I was spending worrying about what others thought of me, and how that search for external validation was really just me looking for permission to accept myself.
What’s been so freeing for me is discovering that I don’t need to look outward for what’s already been given. Romans 8:1 says, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” When I really let that sink in, I notice how others’ opinions gradually lose their power over my happiness.
Maybe you’ve felt that exhaustion too—constantly seeking validation from people who might give it one day and take it away the next? I’ve found so much more peace looking to a love that doesn’t fluctuate. The Apostle Paul seemed to understand this kind of freedom when he wrote:
“I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me.” (1 Corinthians 4:3-4)
I’ve noticed this perspective starting to change how I approach everything:
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” (Colossians 3:23-24)
There’s something genuinely liberating about caring more about God’s view than constantly monitoring what others think. I love how Paul puts it:
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10)
I’ve found that Katie’s practice of questioning stressful thoughts like “I need their approval” helps me return to a place of peace. And for me, that peace deepens when I remember who I am in Christ. It’s been beautiful seeing how Katie’s work and my faith complement each other—both point to the freedom that comes when we accept that we’re already loved, just as we are.
That unconditional love is expressed so clearly in a verse most of us know by heart:
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
When I sit with these words, they remind me that I’m already valued—so much so that this extraordinary sacrifice was made. In that light, chasing after everyone’s good opinion starts to feel less urgent.
I’m still working on this journey every day. Some days I slip back into people-pleasing mode pretty quickly! But I’ve noticed that when I understand how deeply I’m already loved, human approval finds its proper place. It’s nice when it comes, but it’s no longer the foundation I’m trying to build my worth upon.
Maybe you’ve been exhausting yourself trying to win everyone’s approval too? If so, I hope something here helps you find a bit more freedom—not just from others’ expectations, but freedom to become more fully yourself.
For more information on Byron Katie and “The Work” click below.
Spirit & Stride 
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